Volume One, Chapter 16: You're Too Ugly, But I Like Ugly!

After the incident, the three of them looked like a grotesque family of three. The woman’s ugliness was one thing, and the old man’s unpleasant appearance was understandable, but the man—why was he so monstrously ugly?

Disgusting...

He even felt like vomiting up the meal he had eaten ten days ago.

As they walked through the streets of Yan City, nearly everyone was repulsed by Xie Zheng’s appearance; even children were frightened, wondering how anyone could have such an ugly uncle, waking up from nightmares calling for their mothers.

“Uglier than ugly!”

“How can a whole family be this hideous? It’s enough to turn my stomach—disgusting to death!”

The townsfolk of Yan City couldn’t bear to look at them.

Naturally, no one noticed that these three were the sixth prince, his tutor, and the top courtesan of Yichun Tower, setting out from the capital toward Yuanzhou.

They had successfully passed through the northern gate of Yan City unscathed.

The informants from the capital were puzzled—why hadn’t the sixth prince arrived yet? Based on his pace, he should have been in Yan City by now.

“We’ll leave through the northern gate and continue along the small path. There may be bandits on this road, but it’s no problem... in our state, they probably won’t even want to rob us.”

Xie Zheng was trying to keep a low profile. Compared to being watched constantly, he preferred to travel safely and quietly to Yuanzhou.

Ning Ling, driving the carriage, remarked, “Young master, you’re really carefree!”

Xie Zheng sensed the resentment in her voice but was indifferent. Eating dry rations with Tutor Chen, he seemed almost gleeful at their predicament.

Tutor Chen was sly and cunning, continuously suggesting underhanded tactics that made the already cautious young master even more so.

Their clothes were tattered, and even the exposed skin was smeared with foul-smelling dirt.

They truly looked like three ruffians!

The small path passed through a village perpetually occupied by bandits, who were known for frequent robbery and plunder.

However, Xie Zheng had prepared some silver to appease them. When the time came, he would collapse by the roadside, and Tutor Chen would use his disguise skills to feign near death, fooling the bandits.

Of course...

Ning Ling might be targeted, but she was capable of fighting her way out.

With no more worries, they set off.

As expected, a group of bandits blocked their path, and the leader declared in a standard manner:

“This mountain belongs to me, this tree I planted. If you want to pass, pay a toll!”

Ning Ling took on the role of setting the atmosphere.

“Who are you people? We’re just ordinary civilians with no money! Please, gentlemen, have mercy and let us go!”

Her plea only made the bandits bolder.

“You say ‘let you go’ like it’s that simple. You’re so ugly and still don’t want to pay? Do you think we only rob money?”

In fact, the bandits had some professional ethics: if they could get favors, they would, but those who robbed money usually didn’t go after favors.

Though there were exceptions.

One greasy bandit swaggered over and shoved Ning Ling to the ground. Following the young master’s instructions, she cried out as she fell.

“Sure, you’re ugly, but you can still drive a carriage. You’re no paupers! Looks like your ‘no money’ lifestyle is quite the indulgence!”

“Get the people inside down! If you don’t come out, I’ll chop you all up!”

Inside, Xie Zheng and Tutor Chen exchanged glances.

“Big brother, I... I’ll come out now!”

Xie Zheng helped Tutor Chen out of the carriage. His face was so grotesque it made the bandit sick; he immediately squatted and vomited bitterly. The others, startled, also crouched and vomited.

Xie Zheng was quite satisfied. He then supported Tutor Chen, whose pale face and feeble demeanor made him look genuinely ill.

Even Xie Zheng had to admit Tutor Chen was a better actor.

After several bouts of vomiting, the bandits struggled to contain their nausea but soon drew their knives and pressed one against Xie Zheng’s neck, frowning.

“Hand over everything you’ve got, leave the carriage behind, or I’ll cut you all down!”

Their mission had barely begun, and they’d already encountered such a disgusting sight.

But Liangshan Village was nearly stripped bare; the chief had ordered that if they didn’t rob something soon, they’d starve to death by tomorrow.

Faced with the threat, Xie Zheng glanced at Ning Ling, who immediately understood.

“Please don’t harm my husband. Take it out on me instead!”

Ning Ling rushed forward, but her act was too obvious. Before the bandit could touch her, she fell to the ground.

“Really? So fragile? A single push and down you go?”

The bandits didn’t think twice. “Grab her! Then come back and kill your husband right now.”

Ning Ling sobbed, her hands drooping helplessly.

Xie Zheng tugged at Tutor Chen’s tattered clothes. The old man suddenly foamed at the mouth, rolled his eyes back, and collapsed limply, mumbling incoherent words weakly.

Xie Zheng quickly caught him, marveling at the acting—this was a true master of disguise. Then he burst into tears, crying out:

“Father! What’s wrong with you? Don’t scare your son! You’re all I have left, if you go, what will I do?”

“Father, please wake up!”

Xie Zheng’s performance was heart-wrenching, crying and wailing mournfully.

The bandits hadn’t expected such a spectacle. Their hearts softened, and they considered giving up, but the thought of their chief’s fierce glare made one of them grunt and say:

“Your father’s old anyway. If he dies, he dies. Hand over your money and anything valuable on your father. I’ll let you go and bury your old man.”

The bandits’ arrogance was overwhelming.

Xie Zheng continued his act, searching Tutor Chen’s body.

“Father, you’re gravely ill beyond cure. This is all the family has left. Since you can’t live much longer and Big Brother wants the Li family money, I have no choice but to give your burial expenses to him.”

“Father, you always said, as long as the green mountains remain, there’ll be firewood to burn. Someday, your son will rise again.”

“Wuwu, father... we come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing, so whether there’s a coffin or not doesn’t matter.”

Xie Zheng gathered all the burial money and silver from Tutor Chen and himself, then pleaded pitifully:

“Big Brother! This is all my Li family has left, plus my father’s burial money. Please spare me and my wife. I beg you!”

Even though the bandit leader felt reluctant to extort a poor family’s burial funds, he accepted the offering.

“You’re lucky. If you’d met my chief, you might not have gotten away even after paying!”

Mentioning their chief darkened the bandit’s face.

Xie Zheng didn’t understand why the bandits feared their leader so much, but knowing he had talked them down, he hurriedly lifted Tutor Chen onto his back and pulled Ning Ling to leave.

After a dozen steps, a tall, burly man blocked their way.

The man had heavy dark circles under his eyes and carried a broadsword. He held a grotesque figure—also a man—in his arms.

He stared fixedly at Xie Zheng, licking his lips with a lecherous grin.

“You’re too ugly! But I like ugly like you.”

“So stay and be my village wife!”