Volume One, Chapter Three: You're Interesting, but Your Whole Family Is Truly Fascinating

“Your Majesty...” Su Zhongwen asked again. At this moment, even he found it hard to understand what the Empress was thinking. His younger brother was rather ordinary, seeming lazy and unambitious—what was there to admire?

“It’s nothing. I was just lost in thought for a moment. But Su Qing, your younger brother is indeed somewhat interesting!” Wu Zetian’s exquisitely beautiful face broke into a faint smile, though inside she was irritated to the core.

You, Su Chen—who would have thought such a seemingly honest, simple man could harbor such thoughts? Your disguise is impeccable. If I hadn’t heard your innermost thoughts, I might have truly believed you! But even so, you probably never imagined that I already have a complete grasp of your intentions.

...

[Interesting? You’re the interesting one, and so is your whole family—damn it!]

[Who told your entire family to be emperors? The eunuch is emperor, the husband is emperor, the child is emperor, and the worst part is you yourself became emperor! Damn!]

Su Chen continued to vent silently in his mind. Yet the Empress had grown somewhat immune to such thoughts. After all, she had heard them from the dragon carriage and had listened to Su Chen’s inner voice more than once since then. Although not completely immune, she no longer lost her temper so easily as she once did.

Moreover, being able to hear someone’s most genuine thoughts anytime and anywhere was, for Wu Zetian, a rather unique experience. Especially since Su Chen was unaware that she could hear his inner voice—it was, in a way, quite amusing.

...

“Empress, the wind outside the mansion is strong. Please, allow me to escort you inside,” Su Zhongwen said. It was the coldest month of the lunar year. Although the snow had ceased in Chang’an city today, the weather remained bitterly cold.

This time, Wu Zetian finally stopped fixating on Su Chen. With Shangguan Wan’er’s support and Su Zhongwen’s guidance, she entered the Su residence.

In the main hall of the Su mansion, the Empress sat at the seat of honor, Shangguan Wan’er stood to the side, and Su Zhongwen took a seat on the right. Su Chen intended to sit down as well, but a sharp glance from Su Zhongwen made him abandon the idea. He could only pout helplessly and obediently stand behind his brother.

As a lowly commoner, Su Chen truly had no standing to sit in front of Empress Wu Zetian.

...

As he stood there, Su Chen’s posture gradually relaxed into laziness. Though Su Zhongwen was conversing with the Empress, his eyes kept flicking over to Su Chen.

Seeing Su Chen growing listless once more, Su Zhongwen was utterly exasperated.

My foolish little brother, you never learn! Don’t you know I just covered for you several times? Can’t you be a bit sharper? You can be lazy and idle in front of me all you want, but at least restrain yourself before the Empress! If you can’t, then just pretend—put on a show!

With this in mind, Su Zhongwen quickly saved face, saying, “Your Majesty, I suppose you must be thirsty. My brother may not have many talents, but he is quite skilled in the art of tea. Why not have him prepare a cup for you?”

Though tea culture in Huaxia is ancient and profound, the tea ceremony of the Great Qian dynasty is distinctive.

Tea here is not steeped but boiled. Tea leaves are crushed and placed in an earthenware pot, then simmered over a gentle flame with various seasonings—green onions, ginger, mint, tangerine peel, among others. There is no fixed recipe; it all depends on personal taste. If you’re in a good mood, you might even toss in a duck to simmer with the tea. Drinking it is both a drink and a meal.

Su Chen, of course, scoffed at this style of tea preparation. Good tea only requires boiling water once; there’s no need for such fuss.

Besides, having spent several years idling in the mansion with system rewards, his tea-making skills had long reached the level of Tea Sage. The tea he brewed had a lingering, exquisite aftertaste.

Though the system’s rewards were somewhat random, Su Chen had discerned certain patterns.

For instance, during this period, the system had been granting him mostly skill upgrades. His abilities in qin (zither), chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and tea arts were all system rewards.

As for tangible items, those required spending merit points, although the system occasionally gifted such rewards too.

...

Naturally, Su Zhongwen had drunk plenty of tea brewed by Su Chen and highly approved of his tea skills. That was why he proposed using Su Chen’s tea to “flatter” Empress Wu Zetian.

Su Chen happily replied, “Alright, big brother, I’ll prepare it right away!”

Hearing this, Su Chen breathed a sigh of relief. Though he maintained a respectful expression and obediently started to withdraw, his mind was already grumbling.

[Finally free! Big brother, you’re sitting there all comfy while I’m standing and getting tired—I’m dying for a nap. I just want to get back and sleep.]

[As for the tea! I’m in no mood to brew it today; I’ll have Xiao Bai handle it later. Speaking of which, when is that little temptress leaving? Don’t tell me I still have to deal with her meals?]

At this moment, Wu Zetian, who could still hear Su Chen’s thoughts, trembled with fury.

Damn you, Su Chen! You’re so lazy! You’ve barely stood for fifteen minutes and you’re already slouching? And it’s just brewing tea!

Do you know that the greatest tea master of the Great Qian dynasty, Shangguan Wan’er, is right beside me? I drink her tea every day!

Its flavor is beyond description. Do you really think I care about your tea?

Besides, your brother is my subject.

I pay his salary every month.

No matter what, I support your entire family’s livelihood. When did you ever get to manage mine?

With these thoughts, the Empress suppressed her anger, but a faint smile curled at the corners of her lips. She then turned to Shangguan Wan’er and said, “Wan’er, please assist Second Master Su and prepare some tea for me. It’s bitterly cold today, and I’d very much like to taste the tea you brew.”

Shangguan Wan’er responded softly, “Yes, Your Majesty.” She then approached Su Chen and whispered, “Please lead the way, Master Su. Wan’er will prepare tea for the Empress.”

Her tone carried a trace of pride. As the Empress’s most trusted attendant, Shangguan Wan’er was exceptionally talented, and her tea was unrivaled throughout Chang’an.

Su Chen was momentarily stunned as he looked at Shangguan Wan’er. Though he said nothing aloud, his mind was filled with commentary.

[Wan’er? So this is Shangguan Wan’er, the greatest talented woman of Great Qian? Wow, she’s truly beautiful—definitely impressive!]

[But what’s with this little temptress? It’s just making tea, why send Shangguan Wan’er to specifically watch me? What, you think I’m going to poison your tea?]

[Wu Zetian is way too cautious. But then again, I guess it makes sense. A woman emperor is unprecedented, a real hen commanding the roost!]

[Still, the Empress’s situation is truly precarious. With Emperor Taizong’s death, the title of Heavenly Khan is lost. Barbarian tribes on the borders are restless, and one wrong move could invite invasion. The political scene is unstable—veteran ministers, aristocrats, commoners, and the Wu clan all have their own ambitions. This throne must be a restless seat of thorns.]

[But what does any of this have to do with me? I’ll just keep being my lazy self, a true slacker. The rest is up to big brother. Forget it, I’m sleepy again. When can I get back to bed...?]