Volume One, Chapter Five: This Woman Has Quite the Appetite

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In an instant, Shangguan Wan’er felt a wave of frustration. This Second Young Master of the Su family didn’t seem very bright. Tea is tea, porridge is porridge—how could they be the same thing? With that thought, her eyes flickered slyly as she said mischievously to Su Chen, “Thank you for your compliment, Young Master Su. Just now, Lord Su mentioned that you have great skills in brewing tea. Might I have the honor to witness your technique?”

Though Shangguan Wan’er smiled sweetly and appeared demure, inwardly she was grinding her teeth in irritation. Her world-renowned tea-brewing skill had been mistaken for making porridge by Su Chen—how infuriating!

“Isn’t it just brewing tea? What’s so hard about it?” Su Chen casually grabbed a porcelain jar without a care and turned to Shangguan Wan’er. “I’ve already prepared it. Shall we serve the tea now?” He yawned boredly.

At that moment, Shangguan Wan’er was utterly dumbfounded. Is that brewing tea? No spices, no flavor adjustments, just a broken jar filled with hot water—then it’s done? Who is he trying to fool?

“Young Master Su, Her Majesty is quite particular about the art of tea. Perhaps you should not be too casual…” Shangguan Wan’er frowned deeply. Tea brewing was an intricate and profound craft. Even she had trained for years to perfect her skill, which now earned the highest praise from Empress Wu Zetian herself. For someone like Su Chen to come unprepared was tantamount to courting disaster.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. My tea just needs a quick steep. No need for all that fuss!” Su Chen yawned again. The porcelain jar in his hand was not ordinary; the tea leaves inside were among the dozen or so varieties he had collected, ranking about third from the bottom. Still, it should suffice for dealing with Wu Zetian.

Seeing Su Chen’s indifferent attitude, Shangguan Wan’er stomped her foot in anger. She no longer wished to argue. She had warned him, but if he refused to listen, it was no longer her concern.

…

In the Su family’s main hall, Empress Wu Zetian and Su Zhongwen were deep in conversation. The Empress was determined to restore judicial authority and was intent on acting against imperial relatives, but few dared to take such bold steps. Su Zhongwen assured her that if she wished it, he would handle everything perfectly. The two found themselves in complete accord and were enjoying the discussion immensely.

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Meanwhile, Shangguan Wan’er and Su Chen entered the main hall.

“Your Majesty, the tea is ready!” Shangguan Wan’er smiled gracefully as she carried two steaming cups of freshly brewed tea. In the most elegant manner, she first presented one cup to the Empress.

Wu Zetian looked at the tea with satisfaction. On a cold winter day, a sip of tea personally brewed by Shangguan Wan’er was truly a delight for both body and soul.

“Wan’er, present the other cup to Lord Su,” the Empress said generously, not withholding the second cup from Su Zhongwen.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Su Zhongwen was deeply moved as he held the steaming cup. This was tea bestowed by the Empress herself, and brewed by Shangguan Wan’er no less.

The Empress took a gentle sip and exhaled softly, as if her entire being had been uplifted by the tea.

“Wan’er, your tea keeps getting better!” The Empress’s approving gaze fell upon Shangguan Wan’er. Indeed, she was truly the finest tea master in Great Qian, her skill impeccable.

[Ha! That woman just drank porridge, why all the fuss? What’s with those exaggerated expressions?] [Besides, Wan’er’s tea lost all its true flavor—it’s just a pot of stew! If warming up was the goal, why not just eat hotpot?] Su Chen thought to himself, continuing his silent complaints. It wasn’t disdain for Shangguan Wan’er’s tea artistry, but this concoction looked nothing like tea—instead, it resembled a bowl of Laba porridge.

…

The Empress was enjoying the tea, a rare moment of relaxation for Wu Zetian. Yet today, her brow furrowed slightly—not because the tea lacked aroma, but because the cursed brat Su Chen’s inner voice had surfaced again.

I merely praised Shangguan Wan’er, yet he thinks it exaggerated? Wan’er is the finest tea master in Great Qian—does this idiot have any taste at all? Can Wan’er’s tea be compared to that pot of stew? But then again, what is this hotpot nonsense? Could that really be warmer than Wan’er’s tea?

The Empress’ gaze shifted toward Su Chen. “Scoundrel… Su Chen, Su Qing mentioned you would also brew tea for me. Where is your tea?” she asked coolly. She refused to believe anyone in Great Qian could outmatch Shangguan Wan’er’s skill.

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[That woman sure has a big appetite—she drank two bowls of Wan’er’s stew and still isn’t full!] [Fine, I’ll cut you some slack for this pot of chrysanthemum tea!] [Luckily, I have better tea at home!] Su Chen grumbled inwardly but kept his chiseled features obedient. “Your Majesty, I will brew tea for you immediately!”

Wu Zetian’s brow tightened. That wretched brat still dared to insult me in his thoughts, and though he had better tea at home, he only brought a pot of chrysanthemum tea to fool me! This scoundrel was infuriating—outwardly obedient but utterly deceitful, perhaps even Su Zhongwen had been fooled by him.

Without delay, Su Chen poured the chrysanthemum tea leaves into a teapot and steeped them with boiling water. In an instant, a cup of fragrant chrysanthemum tea was ready.

“Your Majesty, my tea is prepared!” Su Chen said earnestly.

Yet the Empress and Shangguan Wan’er stared at each other, wide-eyed. You call that brewed tea? Who are you trying to fool? Just pouring hot water over tea leaves and calling it brewing? And Su Zhongwen praises this as good? Does Su Zhongwen even know how to taste tea?

“Your Majesty, Su Chen’s tea has a unique character. Please do try it,” Su Zhongwen said eagerly, taking the teapot from Su Chen to pour tea for both the Empress and himself.

Though boiling tea remained the mainstream method in Great Qian, Su Zhongwen was already accustomed to drinking tea brewed by Su Chen at home. Having just tasted Shangguan Wan’er’s tea, he found it indescribably strong and simply not to his liking. So when Su Chen’s tea was ready, he was eager to try it.

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