Chapter 128: No Crying Allowed

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Those four words left her grandmother frozen in place.

Her grandmother instinctively reached up to adjust the reading glasses on her face, only to discover that she was not wearing any at all.

For a moment, she could not help wondering whether it was because she had forgotten her glasses that her hearing had failed her too.

“Not sure?” Fortunately, her grandmother had weathered every kind of storm and recovered quickly, repeating Lin Xi’s words.

“Mmm.”

Lin Xi answered softly.

She gazed at the roses—the neighboring city’s flower—in the lawn across from them and fell into thought.

Her grandmother did not believe her. “Are you really not sure?”

How should one put it? Lin Xi understood every principle there was to understand. She was clever and decisive.

There was nothing she could not figure out or comprehend. The only things she lacked were the willingness to admit and the courage to see clearly.

So was she truly uncertain?

Her grandmother felt that Lin Xi must already have an answer in her heart. She simply did not dare to uncover it herself.

She was afraid—afraid that the answer would be one she did not want to see, yet also afraid that it might be the final and undeniable truth.

Lin Xi rarely let her emotions show. Even with her family, she seldom expressed them.

But now, she had spoken. Though her words were vague, they were still a distress signal she had sent out.

That question must have tormented her for far too long. After countless attempts to comfort herself and endless bouts of self-doubt, she had finally reached her limit.

Her grandmother had lived through enough to understand. She reacted swiftly.

At that moment, Lin Xi was a drowning person, and her grandmother might very well be the one who could pull her ashore.

Hearing her grandmother’s question, Lin Xi hesitated, then shook her head.

She was not answering the question. She simply did not know how to put her thoughts into words.

Her grandmother clasped her hand firmly and stroked it gently. “Xi-Xi, you’ve grown up. You need to be a little braver.”

“If there’s something you want, something you love, you must hold on to it.”

“Sometimes you only avoid something for a brief while, but that brief escape may cause you to miss it for the rest of your life.”

“In any case, follow your heart. Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re still young. You don’t need to think about so many things. You only need to settle on one thought: ask yourself honestly what your heart wants. If you truly, truly want it, then you can’t keep running away.”

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“When life enters a new stage, you have to say a proper farewell to the past. It’s time to turn this page. Don’t leave the person you are in this stage with regrets.”

—

On the drive back from the neighboring city, Lin Xi stared blankly out the window the entire way.

The private driver kept glancing at her through the rearview mirror, clearly worried. Several times he tried to offer some words of comfort, but seemed unsure where to begin.

It was only when Lin Xi got out of the car that the driver called after her.

“Miss, whatever you’re facing, you have to keep looking ahead!”

Lin Xi paused slightly, not understanding at first what he meant.

The driver, a middle-aged man, waved at her enthusiastically. “Keep your chin up!”

Only then did Lin Xi realize what he was saying. She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

She walked from the entrance to the Lin residence at an unhurried pace. She had walked this road for many years, yet she never grew tired of the scenery along the way.

It was autumn, and fallen leaves carpeted the road. A member of the grounds staff was on duty, sweeping them away.

Even upon seeing her, he still took the time to greet her.

The walk normally took only three or four minutes, but Lin Xi somehow stretched it into a quarter of an hour. She stopped and started all the way, staring into space as she stepped on the leaves beneath her feet and listened to them crackle.

It seemed she still had not fully understood her grandmother’s words. Or perhaps she was still digesting them.

No one knew what was truly going through her mind.

All they could see was how heavily burdened she looked.

“Xi-Xi, you’re back?” Her eldest uncle’s wife heard the door open and leaned out to look toward the entrance.

Lin Xi changed her shoes and called back, “It’s me.”

Once she confirmed it was Lin Xi, her aunt dusted the flour from her hands and rose to greet her.

“I heard you arrive at the gate a while ago. Why did it take you so long to come in?” She anxiously looked Lin Xi up and down. “Did you run into someone?”

“No.” Lin Xi forced a smile, looking no different from usual. “I saw all the leaves had fallen on the way back and stopped to play for a while.”

Her aunt breathed a sigh of relief. “Honestly, what am I going to do with you? Playing outside all by yourself.”

“I was worried about you. You were taking so long to come in, and I was even thinking of sending your uncle out to look for you. But he was too lazy and insisted that you couldn’t possibly get lost in the courtyard, so we should just wait for you to come back on your own.”

“You don’t need to worry. Uncle was right. I’ve already made it into the courtyard. With security this tight, where could I possibly go?” Lin Xi slipped an arm around her aunt and led her inside.

“What are you making?”

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“What else? Longevity noodles for our birthday girl, of course.”

“These noodles are best when they’re made by hand.” Her aunt had been busy preparing everything since early morning, doing it all herself.

“Thank you for working so hard, Auntie.”

Lin Xi massaged her shoulders, then looked around. Only the housekeeper was there, sorting vegetables. She asked, “Where’s Grandfather? Is he still outside?”

“No, he’s playing chess with your uncle on the balcony.” Her aunt lowered her voice and complained softly, “He insisted on going outside to play. How could we let an old man go out so late?”

“I told him you’d be home soon, and that he’d be angry if he couldn’t find you. It’s your birthday today, after all. That was the only way I could coax him into staying. But after sitting for a while, he made your uncle play another game with him.”

In truth, the old man was not especially fond of chess. He simply disliked staying indoors.

His mind was no longer clear, and at times he had the temperament of a child. Once he became stubborn, the average person could not coax him into anything.

Thinking of how her aunt had lived this way for all these years, Lin Xi felt even more guilty. “You’ve worked so hard all these years.”

She embraced her aunt, as though she were burrowing into her mother’s arms in search of comfort.

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Her uncle had spent most of his life in the military and held a fairly high rank, so he could not devote much of his attention to the household. In the past, her aunt had held a civilian position in the military and had been far less busy by comparison. Now, she had placed all her energy into caring for the family.

Together with the housekeeper, she looked after the old man’s meals and daily needs, doing her best to hold their shattered family together.

“Honestly, crying on your birthday?” Her aunt’s eyes grew hot as well, but she stubbornly held back her tears. “Come on, come on, stop it!”

“Otherwise I really will give you a spanking, you little brat. What’s gotten into you? No more crying, understand?”

Her aunt still had flour on her hands. In a hurry, she pulled out two tissues and wiped Lin Xi’s tears. When she saw Lin Xi’s reddened eyes, she sighed. “What are you crying for all of a sudden?”

“Whether you go abroad or stay here, it’s all the same.”

In truth, her aunt understood everything.

“You’re just a child. Even if you stayed, how much help could you really be? If you can take good care of yourself, I’ll thank heaven for it.”

“And besides, you haven’t brought any shame upon the Lin family. You’ve made these years abroad worthwhile. Our Xi-Xi has done so well, hasn’t she?”

End of chapter.