Chapter Twenty-Five: The Seductress in His Mouth

More than half a month had passed since Su Jin’s funeral, and Lao Liao and I had once again slipped into a lull with no business to do. That’s how our trade goes: six months without a single client, and then one client feeds you for another six months. I never bothered to actively seek work; after all, what we do now depends entirely on chance. It’s not something you can force.

“Maybe I should revive the regular tattoo and body painting services,” I mused silently to myself. “It’d give some publicity to our Yin-Yang Embroidery, though the prices are a bit low. Looks like I’ll have to find an apprentice to help manage the shop…” As I pondered, my phone chimed with a flurry of messages. I picked it up and read, “Dear Mr. Zhang, your beloved car has been released from the factory. Please come to the 4S dealership at your convenience to collect it.”

A secret delight welled up in me. So I was finally among the ranks of car owners. Never mind the car’s grade—at least now I was a small boss with wheels. Without a car, I’d hardly have any presence.

“Lao Liao! Lao Liao! Let’s go pick up the car this afternoon! We can take a spin around town while we’re at it.”

“Sure. I’ve been wanting to stroll through the antique market.”

“What’s the point? Boring, full of scammers.”

“In our line of work, you have to get familiar with old things. There’s an old saying: ‘Ten funerals, nine frauds, eight antiques.’ It means that out of ten supernatural affairs, nine are trickery, and eight involve old objects. That place is crawling with sharp-eyed veterans and seasoned pros—it’ll help you hone your eye. This afternoon, you’ll get a proper lesson.” Lao Liao looked at me as if I were an idiot, then grabbed a big meat bun and took a hearty bite.

Having money, after all, brings privileges I never dared to imagine before. When I returned to the 4S dealership, the moment I stepped inside, a sales assistant hovered nearby. “Would you prefer coffee, black tea, or green tea?”

“Coffee, please. We’re here to pick up a car.”

Hearing we were here for a pickup, her smile grew even brighter. She led us toward the back garage, dressed in a black business suit, her figure swaying elegantly, high heels clicking against the floor. Even someone like me, who has passed through countless flowers and could pick eight thousand, felt a ripple in my heart, my old face flushed.

I won’t bore you with the details of the pickup. Lao Liao and I sat inside the car, neither in a hurry to start it. We simultaneously reclined our seats and lay back.

“Hmm, pretty comfy. Still far from the Mercedes G-Class, though.”

“Liao, you’ve driven a Mercedes?”

“Hey, don’t look down on me. Back in the day, someone once offered me a Porsche to get a job done, and I still refused.”

Once again, Lao Liao was off with his usual bluster. I ignored him, started the car, and headed out of the dealership. With a burst of acceleration, the car shot forward, making Lao Liao jump from the passenger seat and clutch the door handle in terror.

“Damn, can’t you tell the difference between the accelerator and the brake? Are you trying to drive straight from the new car garage into the repair shop, or send me to the hospital?”

I grinned sheepishly and crawled out of the dealership at a snail’s pace.

Driving a new car really was a thrill. Once on the road, I floored the pedal, savoring the mechanical roar as the trees and street scenes sped backward. Lao Liao and I bantered casually. Suddenly, a figure appeared ahead—a person stumbling in the middle of the street, glassy-eyed, oblivious to the blaring horns around him. Our car was about to hit him; I stomped the brake to the floor.

The screeching halt hurt the car, and as I nursed my regret, anger flared. I rolled down the window and shouted, “Are you blind? Want to die?”

“Wait, stop, stop. Something’s off about him. Let’s check it out,” Lao Liao observed and urged me. I quickly pulled over, failing to park properly after three tries.

“Man, your driving’s awful. Are you trying to ruin our business?” Lao Liao didn’t wait for me to finish parking and jumped out.

“Business? What business?” I finally managed to park. The man was still standing in the street, so Lao Liao and I hurried over and pulled him aside. Judging by his clothes, he looked like a college student: trendy hair, flashy streetwear, Jordans, and a Supreme backpack—a classic hypebeast. Yet his face was pale, eyes hollow, a bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. Was he sleepwalking? No matter how we called, he didn’t respond.

“Hey, hey, wake up. Are you okay?” Lao Liao patted his face gently. Seeing it wasn’t enough, I spat twice and prepared to deliver a stronger blow, but before I could, the young man’s consciousness began to return.

“Uh… Where am I? Who are you guys?”

“You almost got hit by our car just now. We haven’t even asked you for damages yet.” The thought made my anger rise again. My brand-new car nearly crashed before I even got it home. If he weren’t a student, I’d demand a thousand in compensation.

“Oh! Really… I’m so sorry. Is your car damaged? I’ll pay for any losses, truly sorry.” The youth was frantic, apologizing as if he’d committed a grave error, nothing like his vacant state moments ago.

Lao Liao pried open his eyelids, swept his bangs aside, and said, “Open your mouth.”

The student looked puzzled but did as told.

“Have you been sleeping at night, but lacking awareness, like sleepwalking?” Lao Liao pondered and asked.

“Hiss… My roommate said a few days ago I got up at midnight and did some weird things.”

“This isn’t the place to discuss this. Let’s go to our shop.” I sensed something was wrong. A traffic cop stood nearby, and if he overheard us talking about spirits and ghosts, he’d probably think we were con men. I opened the car door, but the young man was wary, clearly suspecting us of being human traffickers, refusing to get in.

“No, no, please, guys, I’ll give you all my money—just don’t make me get in the car. If you need more, tell me, I’ll go to the bank…”

His words made us laugh and cry at once. But it made sense—a person just regaining consciousness, suddenly facing two strangers insisting on taking him home—anyone would panic, even feel a tightness in certain places…

Lao Liao was so amused he laughed outright. “Kid, your brow is dark, your forehead bulges, your eyes are swimming with peach blossoms. Have you met any pretty girls recently?”

The young man blushed. “Last weekend, there was a party at the bar opposite the campus. I drank too much with a pretty girl and then…”

“And then you slept with her?”

“Uh, we’re all adults. Besides, I never said I wouldn’t take responsibility.”

“And after that? Did you see her again?”

“No, I remember adding her on WeChat that night, but I couldn’t find anything afterward.”

“Of course you couldn’t. That girl—is right there in your mouth!” Lao Liao said with glee, watching the youth’s jaw drop in astonishment.