Chapter 82: Burial Offerings

“What the hell is this?” All of us couldn’t help but exclaim when we saw what Xiao Li was holding.

Xiao Li let out a long sigh. “It was actually even worse before. After selling that thing, I seemed to get a bit better, but I still don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover…”

No wonder Xiao Li was so eager to sell the jade cicada at a low price of three thousand—he had already encountered something truly terrifying himself.

Huzi grabbed Xiao Li by the collar. “Hey, take your jade cicada back! I don’t want your three thousand yuan either. I’m not about to become your scapegoat. If I ever see you again, I’ll break your legs!”

With that, he shoved the jade cicada back into Xiao Li’s arms, strode over to the offering altar at the front of the room, and with one sweep of his thick arm, knocked everything onto the floor. The cicada shells that had been scattered haphazardly across the table fell and shattered into pieces on the ground.

Xiao Li stared blankly at Huzi’s actions. Suddenly, as if struck by a realization, he wailed loudly and dropped to his knees at my feet. “Master, you have to save me! I don’t want to end up like Old Liu, drained of blood and left to die on the street!”

He knelt at my feet, sobbing and howling in utter despair.

I looked helplessly at Old Liao, not knowing what to do.

Just then, Xiao Li looked up abruptly. “And… and lately, at the crematorium, the night shift staff keep saying it’s haunted!”

I stared at Xiao Li, seeing the terror etched across his face.

“Haunted?”

“Yes… those seven people from the car accident, there’s something strange about them! Ever since Old Liu and I cremated them, the crematorium has been haunted all the time!”

To my surprise, Old Liao cut in, “We can’t help you with this. Here’s what you do: get a basin of black dog’s blood, soak the jade cicada in it for twenty-four hours, then bury it in the southeast corner of the crematorium. If nothing unexpected happens, this should resolve the issue.”

Relieved, Xiao Li kowtowed several times to Old Liao, pressed his head to the ground, and holding the jade cicada that Huzi had just thrown back to him, started to weep softly.

The three of us paid no further attention to Xiao Li, who was still kneeling on the floor. After all, you must bear the consequences of your own misdeeds. Once the jade cicada was returned to its owner, we left Xiao Li’s home.

“Damn it, what rotten luck. I’ve been scared out of my wits for days, and I’m out three thousand yuan to boot,” Huzi grumbled as we walked.

“Come on, you should be glad you got out of this alive. That jade cicada is no ordinary thing—born of fierce fire, it warps a person’s fate. Being able to shake it off is already a blessing,” Old Liao remarked, squinting at him with a hint of mockery.

“Heh heh, that’s true. Master Liao, your skills are unmatched! If I really get out of this in one piece, I’ll be at your service whenever you call!” Huzi replied with a sheepish laugh, his bootlicking tone making us both laugh and cry.

“All right, enough flattery. Let’s leave it at that for now. You’d better head home.” We stood at the intersection. Now that everything was settled, I had no desire to meddle further and was ready to send Huzi on his way.

“Wait, I’m not after your antiques. I just want to ask if you’ll keep your word,” Old Liao said, swallowing nervously as he eyed Huzi with a sly grin.

Huzi broke out in a cold sweat under Old Liao’s gaze. “I don’t really understand what you mean… Gentlemen, the mountains are high and the rivers long—until we meet again!”

With that, Huzi hurried across the street and quickly disappeared into the maze of alleys, leaving Old Liao staring after him in confusion.

“Damn that miser, that swindler, that cheat!” Old Liao’s angry roar echoed down the street. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself—so even the master schemer got outplayed for once.

After that, Old Liao and I returned to our quiet lives. Hu Ji barely said goodbye before vanishing without a trace, and to this day we’ve heard nothing from him.

“Old Liao, do you really think Hu Ji is the Fox Immortal?” I asked one day when I was bored.

Old Liao smacked me on the head. “Are you stupid? The Fox Immortal is the Fox Immortal; Hu Ji is Hu Ji. They’re not the same thing.”

“Not the same… what do you mean?” My knowledge of such spirits and legends was limited, but Hu Ji’s appearance had completely changed my view of wild immortals.

“Have you ever heard of the wild immortals of the northeast?” Old Liao asked, puffing on a cigarette, his eyes vacant as he stared at the drama playing on TV.

“We have to hand this ox-head over to the state!” the male lead’s voice suddenly blared from the television.

Old Liao snorted. “What kind of script is this? Do they think the audience are idiots? If you handed a national treasure over to the authorities, in less than three days the police and even the security bureau would have your whole family investigated inside out. Forget about any medals—you and every relative and friend you have would end up behind bars.”

His comment drew my attention to the show, which had just switched to a scene of the protagonists entering a tomb passage. The setting was dark and eerie, but everything looked incredibly clean—especially the male leads’ hair, which was perfectly styled as if they’d just come from the salon.

“This tomb looks spotless,” I remarked.

“That’s just for show. Real tombs are filthy, and half the stuff inside will crumble at the slightest touch. These TV dramas are just for the star-struck masses. If you let Huzi or Brother Xiaolin tell you about some of their tomb-raiding stories, you’d probably wet your pants,” Old Liao scoffed.

“Hey, Old Liao, do you think that jade cicada was one of those things they used to put in the mouths of the dead to prevent decay? Are they really that effective?”

“Listen, as someone in the business of the dead, you need to keep sharpening your skills. Let me correct you: there’s a difference between a coffin and a coffin chamber. The coffin chamber is a huge shell, and the coffin sits inside it. The corpse is inside the coffin. It’s not just jade cicadas—even the legendary golden-threaded jade suits and jade spirit pearls were all treasures to keep a body from decaying. Back when I was at the Panjiayuan antique market, I even saw someone selling an ancient corpse!”

“No way, people really sell ancient corpses?” I said in disbelief. I’d heard that in ancient tombs, most of the artifacts and even the bodies had oxidized so badly that their clothes would crumble at the slightest touch, let alone a complete corpse.

“Oh, believe it. And that seller found a jade cicada right in the corpse’s mouth.”